Gas bombs and then some

I have found myself thinking back a lot over these last couple of months, trying to piece together all the things that have added up to my journey of gluten freedom.

There is no one instance but multiple occasions and problems that all have lead me to being gluten free.

In 2006 I moved to the Grand Teton area for two reasons, one, I love the snow and two, I always wanted to be a ski instructor!  What most people don’t tell you is that if you have student loans you probably wont be paying your bills off being a ski instructor. Therefor, I would pick up seasonal gigs serving and bar tending at night!  Plus all my meals were covered this way (even better!)

This is where the gas bombs come into the picture.  My meals all consisted of highly packed gluten and of course dairy deliciousness.  Waffles, pancakes, breakfast burritos, cereal, sandwiches, quesadilla’s, chicken nuggets, pizza, pizza and more pizza, lots of pasta for dinner, all the dinner rolls i would snack on throughout the night and of course wings and lots of beer.

Not only where these meals gut bombs but oh yes the perfect recipe for a gas bomb shortly there after.  I remember always feeling heavy after my meals, at lunch I would often get stomach discomfort and cramps…and usually about 1 hour later end up in the bathroom in the middle of a ski lesson either extremely constipated with the sensation of having to go or the complete opposite.  Luckily, kids/students usually would have to go pee around the same time.

By dinner time I wold load up on some more pizza, pasta, or rich and creamy dairy and gluten filled sauce over a dish.  Almost every night I would end up dropping some serious gas bombs, not just the girly silent ones, but loud and stinky ones… they actually smelled like stink bombs.  I remember night after night leaving the kitchen or floor so that I could pass gas in the hallway.  Eventually I got to know the staff well enough I would just drop the gas bombs in the kitchen and we would get a chuckle out of it… and if one of the cooks gave me a hard enough time I would make sure to land one right next to them.  At least during the day you are moving fast enough skiing that the gas disperses quickly.

I can remember numerous occasions after dinner when I would swamp out the entire kitchen, to the point cooks and staff would have to leave the room for a minute or two.

Multiple nights after work I would go across the way with staff or friends to catch the end of some live music and of course have some beers.  I would still be dropping gas bombs hours later and have to go onto the deck because I was “too hot” or “had to have a cigarette”… but really I usually had to rip a big old gas bomb.  There was one time I was standing next to my roommate on the dance floor and I had ripped one… I hadn’t even realized it (i mean at this point it was a frequent subconscious activity in my life) , maybe at the time I thought it was going to be small or not smell.  WELL it ended up smelling like a mix between a stink bomb and a skunk in the room… I had done it again, I had cleared the entire dance floor.  No exaggeration here, the entire section of the bar had dispersed to the other side or outside.  I remember my roommate saying, “man do you smell that”, me saying “yeah sorry I ripped one”.

The constant smell of a dead animal coming out in gas form was a frequent occurrence for the last four years of my life.  Not every time would be nearly as bad as the clearing of the room but I would pass gas 15, 20, 30 , 50 times a day… it was to the point where I was loosing track.

It seemed likeI had tried everything gas-x, bean o, seeing a doctor, but had no solution.  I had gas problems longer then I can remember but I do remember in 2001 when it was becoming more frequent in my daily life.  I thought it was just all the college food I was eating and chemicals and preservatives in the food.  Little to know ten years later I find out I have a gluten intolerance.

In the winter of 2009I had eliminated dairy from my diet, but wasn’t understanding that when I ate a turkey and avocado wrap for lunch why I would have gas, or after dinner when I scarfed down that huge pasta dish loaded with veggies why I would still have gas… yet I had eliminated dairy?  Lets see… perhaps the gluten!?

3 months of being gluten free and I no longer have frequent gas bombs or the smell of a dead animal following me around.  I pass gas maybe 1-3 times a day, not 30 plus.  Let alone not feeling like I have a huge gut bomb every time I eat followed by cramps.  This is one of the things I am enjoying most about my gluten freedom.

4 Responses to “Gas bombs and then some”

  1. Carl Landry:

    Nice Blog!

  2. Practical Recipes:

    Dear Guru, what entice you to post articles. This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was trying to find thoughts on this subject last Thursday.

  3. Karyn Chapoton:

    Appreciate your inforamtion. It is just too greeeeat!

  4. Bern Tourist Information:

    much appreciated!! Bern tourist information

Leave a Reply